Learn Your Special Education Laws, Special Education Rights, and Share IEP Goal Ideas

Dear Other Mother at Physical Therapy,

For the past three days I have watched you roll your eyes at my son. I can see your annoyance with him when he gets loud and interrupts your quiet making it hard for you to read your book. I saw your anger when he accidentally bumped into you and just kept going instead of stopping to say he was sorry. I hear the hostility in your voice as you yell for the technicians to pay attention to your daughter and stop giving my boy extra attention. And for three days I have said nothing.  Read the rest of this entry →

I can clearly remember sitting in the PICU (Pediatric Intensive Care Unit) and hearing the words “Her genetic testing has come back and we found something. She has Trisomy 13 Mosaicism”. That was the last sentence I ever heard in my “normal” world. The following days were filled with doctors and internet browsing and yes tons of crying. I remember looking at my beautiful little 2 month old baby and thinking these people are crazy she looks perfect. Ok, she has seizures, feeding issues, failure to thrive but she LOOKS fine. Denial is amazing thing my mind kept telling me if she looks OK then she is OK. My heart was telling me what I felt since the day she was born she was different. Read the rest of this entry →

Hi, my name is Mac and I am a stay at home mama of 5 boys, we live in St Louis, Mo. My husband, “Big Daddy”, has 2 boys- Thing 1, a 17 year old bipolar rebel, and Thing 2- 16 with ADHD. I have 3 of my own. An 11 year old, Walter, who is also ADHD. Alexander the Great, 9, has severe autism and ADHD (since, you know, autism never travels alone). Goofy is the baby at 5 (and our last dose of ADHD). Read the rest of this entry →

Last year at this time I had written, “As many of you are aware, autism occurs in 1 in every 110 births in the United States, and for boys, the rate is closer to 1 in 70.” As of today March 30, 2012, almost one year later the CDC as updated their most recent numbers on Autism. According to the CDC:

CDC estimates 1 in 88 children (11.3 per 1,000) has been identified with an autism spectrum disorder (ASD). Read the rest of this entry →

It’s that time of the year where many of us are preparing our children to transition into a new placement in the fall semester. Whether your child will be transitioning into Preschool, Kindergarten, Middle School or High School we are all concerned about their readiness to adapt to their new placement. I am personally stressed out because my son is beginning middle school in the fall. I keep hearing Greg Heffley from the Diary of a Wimpy Kid in my head saying:

Let me just say for the record I think middle school is the dumbest idea ever invented. You got kids like me who haven’t hit their growth spurt yet mixed in with these gorillas who need to shave twice a day. Read the rest of this entry →

A couple of months ago I was touring an inclusive charter school that my wife and I want my son to attend for middle school. As we toured the different classrooms I noticed a sign hanging over the blackboard in every class. The sign read, “Fairness is not getting the same thing as everyone else, but getting what you need.” This motto seemed appropriate since the charter’s school inclusion “model allows for the individual needs of each child to be addressed in a manner that enhances each child’s strengths while also addressing learning needs” all within the general education setting.

Being the curious type I snapped a picture of one of the signs and went home to research the individual who came up with this philosophy. After doing some Google searches I found the following YouTube video from Rick Lavoie. Read the rest of this entry →

Yesterday was my son’s eleventh birthday. He asked me what I was going to do today and I responded, “I’m going to write a blog about you and how far you’ve come since you were born.” He smiled at me and said “that’s good; I know I’m a special person”…..that he is!! With all of his struggles and therapies since birth, he’s managed to maintain a warm and loving personality that everyone who meets him falls in love with him. I know this because every teacher or therapist he’s ever had tells me what a pleasure it is to work with him. For the purposes of this blog, I must begin at the beginning. Read the rest of this entry →

In honor of the upcoming Dr. Seuss week I have updated my son’s favorite book written by Dr. Seuss’s protégé, P.D. Eastman. “Are You My Mother.”

A mother dropped her child off at a new school. She told the Principal, “My child has an IEP but he wants to learn.” So the mother left her child with the school and away she went. The child was told to walk over to his new class but to pick up his IEP on the way out. So the child began to look for his IEP. He looked up and did not see his IEP. He looked down and did not see his IEP. “I will go and look for my IEP,” he said. So away he went. Read the rest of this entry →

Probably the most frustrating part of being the parent of a child with a different ability [1] is the response from the very organization you hoped you could trust the most to do right by your child – your school district.  After all, teachers and administrators are trained to adapt the teaching environment to help my child, right? (No.)  I pay my property taxes, so I should be able to control how the schools work, right? (You should, yes, but in reality you don’t.) 

So what should I do when the school district won’t do what they are supposed to do for my child?  Read the rest of this entry →

With Valentine’s Day upon us I thought it was important for me to try and explain the love I have for my family. My life changed 18 years ago when I met my wife and again almost 11 year ago when I had my son. These two moments in time are not just mere events in my past but have become a part of me. Since I am not as eloquent as E.E. Cummings the best way to explain this feeling is by reading his poem, I Carry Your Heart With Me:

i carry your heart with me (i carry it in my heart) i am never without it (anywhere i go you go, my dear; and whatever is done by only me is your doing, my darling)

i fear no fate (for you are my fate, my sweet) i want no world (for beautiful you are my world, my true) and it’s you are whatever a moon has always meant and whatever a sun will always sing is you

here is the deepest secret nobody knows (here is the root of the root and the bud of the bud and the sky of the sky of a tree called life; which grows higher than the soul can hope or mind can hide) and this is the wonder that’s keeping the stars apart

i carry your heart (i carry it in my heart)

I think this poem has meaning for anyone in love, or with a family, but it seems to especially ring true for families raising children with special needs. Every day I go out into the world, I carry my family’s heart. A heart so big it changed who I was and what I was capable of doing.

Every time I encounter ignorance, prejudice and social bias against individuals with disabilities I think about my family and my response is guided by their heart. Because, just like in the poem I carry their heart (I carry it in my heart).

Every time I see a child having a meltdown in the grocery store or a restaurant I think about my family and I show a little understanding and compassion. Because, just like in the poem I carry my family’s heart (I carry it in my heart).

Every time I see a Mom crying at an IEP meeting I try to help her to the best of my abilities. Because, just like in the poem I carry my family’s heart (I carry it in my heart).

Every time I see a child who cannot hit or catch or shoot a basket I tell their parents to keep looking because every child has strengths and they will find what they are good at just as my son found swimming. Because, just like in the poem I carry my family’s heart (I carry it in my heart).

Every time I see a parent who is just about at their wits end, I tell them it’s okay and that we have all been there. Just continue to move forward and don’t worry if sometimes you need to move one step backwards in order to move two steps forward. Because, just like in the poem I carry my family’s heart (I carry it in my heart).

These are all things I was not capable of in my youth. Before I met my wife and had my son. Before I carried their heart with me everywhere I go. You see I am changed forever, first by my wife and later by my son. My wife’s strength and compassion coupled by my son’s love for life shaped who I am today the same way a river shapes the landscape around them. Because, just like in the poem I carry my family’s heart (I carry it in my heart).